[It only stands to reason that fitting three people and a wolf into a home meant for one man will lose its novelty eventually – that even people who love each other wholly need privacy and their own space to breathe. No tensions have risen yet, fortunately, and the three of them have made it work well enough so far, but they can all sense the reality of their circumstances looming in the distance.
At least this time, those circumstances aren't unkind. Merely different. An adjustment they get to make on their own terms for once in their damned lives.
The conversation happens in the evening, so Jill and Clive set out in the morning, their bellies full with a hearty breakfast and the bag across Jill's shoulder packed with sandwiches for lunch, should their search for a home extend into the afternoon. Joshua sees them off, and after a few steps down the nearest path, Jill looks to Clive, softly smiling.]
Let's look for a cottage. One with room enough for a garden, and space for Torgal too.
[She pauses for a moment, contemplative. Then, her smile shifts into something almost but not quite sheepish.]
I've no ill to speak of the Hideaway, but I do miss living on solid ground.
[ If their lives had gone according to plan (certainly not their own plan, but his father's, perhaps) then the pair of them would be living in Rosalith, in quarters prepared for the Marquess and his lady and the children that would have eventually followed. Would he have been allowed to marry Jill at all? Or would Anabella have seen that such an arrangement would bring him happiness and robbed him of that, too?
Either way, it isn't worth dwelling on. His mother is no longer an obstacle or a threat to either of them, and while Clive would never have put her to the sword himself, he is not sorry that she's gone.
Banishing his unpleasant thoughts, he brings Jill's hand to his lips and kisses her fingers tenderly before giving them a squeeze as they step out into the pleasant morning. He will swipe their lunch bag from her when she least expects it, but he leaves it be for now. ]
I like the sound of a garden. We can build beds for flowers all around, so that you you will never be short of materials when I need a new garland.
[ He grins down at her, feeling lighter than he has in... well, twenty years, easily. ]
We don't need a huge place. I'd prefer a cozy home with spacious grounds, myself.
[It's a thought Jill used to have, too, only instead of settling in Rosalith, she'd daydreamed of bringing Clive back to the Northern Territories, showing him a different kind of life. It would never happen, she knew, even as a girl – he had sworn himself to Joshua, and her homeland was already dying when she was forced to leave it behind – but it was a nice story all the same.
They'd have never been free, though, not in Rosalith and not in the North. She wishes they'd have been able to take a kinder path to reach this point, but she's glad that they're here now, bound by their hearts to what matters to them most.
Especially the little things. The ones that are easy to take for granted. Like the gentle press of his lips to her fingers; like those same fingers as she threads them between his, holding his hand as they move through the treehouses, sunlight streaming through the canopy of leaves above and dappling the path before them.
When he mentions the garland, she laughs a bit, just a breathy thing, barely any noise at all. Every time she'd gone to his chambers and seen it hung on his wall with the rest of his mementos, she felt a surge of warmth.]
This time, I'll see you wear one. We'll grow vegetables as well, and make a stew at the end of the season for others to enjoy along with us.
[Cosy sounds just right, and Jill leans ever slightly against Clive as he speaks.]
I'd like that, too. It'd be nice if we could find somewhere with a fireplace and a big bath, and with enough windows that we'll never be lacking for light when the sun is shining.
[A pause, then:]
I hear that the homes change based on the dreams of the people who reside within them, so why not dream with our whole hearts, right?
My dear, I would wear a garland daily if only to see you smile.
[ The truth is that Clive would be happy anywhere he and Jill were together, and his primary goal is to find a home where he can see to it that she's kept comfortably, that all her needs are met, that she has room to do the things she enjoys. Clive dreaming with his whole heart is dreaming of a place that she will love, above everything. ]
If it's true that the homes can change, then perhaps we needn't be overly concerned about the initial look of the place? Perhaps the location is of greater import, and the amenities we desire can be added on in time.
[ It gives them a bit of wiggle room, anyway, though Clive also considers that they'll need room for the gift he's planning to give Jill for their wedding. Suffice to say, Torgal's won't be the only furry feet running around their home, but she doesn't know that yet. ]
Mm, yes, a hearth with a thick rug laid out to recline on when the nights get cold.
[These days, he doesn't need to do much to make her smile. It comes down to what kind of smile he wants to see, more than anything. The one he gets now is soft and it's warm, and her eyes almost seem to cast their own light here in the shadows of the forest.]
That settles it, then. Let's look for one on a large parcel of land that we can shape with our own hands, and let everything else sort itself out.
[That way, they can have it both; a home that's made for them, and one they can make their own. Besides, just as they need room for Clive's gift to Jill, they'll need plenty of space for the gift that she has in mind for him.]
For once, I'm glad for the magic. It'll give us more time to enjoy each other's company. Joshua's as well.
[A pause, then:]
And to plan our wedding. I must admit, that sounds more enticing than shopping for furniture.
[ Clive nods agreeably, having already determined to let Jill have the final say in the selection once they've narrowed down their choices a bit. He knows her well enough to be certain that she'll take his preferences into consideration without his even asking it of her, but when the homes are as mutable as the ones here, it leaves plenty of room for them to change things as the need arises. ]
I'll admit, it's been a bit difficult to fully feel at ease with the magic here. Valisthea's magic caused so much suffering to so many people, but here... it's different--not a curse, not a burden. If it allows me to dedicate my time to you and Joshua, then I have no complaints.
[ Reaching down, Clive slings his arm around Jill's body, allowing his hand to settle on her hip. He feels more at peace now than he can recall ever having felt during his life; it's a foreign feeling, one he scarcely knows how to process. How does one simply exist in such a state, feeling such contentment? It's more than he ever believed he would have.
At the mention of their wedding, Clive ducks his head, a grin spreading across his face. The mere mention of it makes him eager with anticipation. ]
Indeed it does. But... there is an appeal to furniture shopping. You and I, in a home we chose, surrounded by the things we've picked for ourselves simply because we like them. Decorating to suit our own tastes. That's a bit enticing, isn't it? Our wedding is the first step--the start of the rest of our lives.
[Jill hums an agreement. She's not quite comfortable embracing the magic here in full yet either, but she's growing more at ease with it. Even at its darkest, it doesn't blot out hope the same way that Valisthea's had.]
It's far from perfect, but it is better. I'd never thought that magic could be giving, I suppose.
[That word, giving, feels far from perfect too – Jill knows that it takes from people as well – but she figures it's a close enough approximation to what she means. It's reunited her with her family and asked for nothing in return; it's given Joshua a home that he adores, and will soon do the same for Clive and herself. There's something beautiful about a spell that channels the energy of their love to manifest an ideal place for them to start their lives together, and she isn't so cynical as to ignore that.
Still, she adds:]
At least sometimes.
[When Clive wraps his arm around her, Jill bumps him with her shoulder, then looks to him with a playful gleam to her eyes that grows all the more bright as he grins. The sight of him smiling compels her to mirror his touch, and she glides her own hand across his back to rest on his waist. There's birdsong all around them. The air is clean, carried on a breeze that smells mostly of forest, but sometimes the aroma of flowers wafts up from nearby beds and bushes. It's such a peaceful moment that she can't help but bask in it a moment before responding to the rest of what he's said.]
It's not... not enticing. It's rather that I wouldn't know where to begin, or what I even want. And I know we'd help each other figure it out, but I need something to feel more certain about while I'm still getting my bearings here. Our wedding gives me that certainty, Clive. That's what makes it more enticing. We can figure the rest out later, can't we? At least we'll have a hearth to cook our food over and a soft bed to retire to at night in the meantime.
[ Even if the word isn't perfect, Clive understands what she means. It's impossible to ignore what this magic has given him: a fresh shot at life, his dearest love by his side, his brother happy and whole. There's not much he wouldn't give in return for these things, and part of him is waiting for the inevitable ask, for the other shoe to drop and show him just how much he'll have to pay, but for now...
For now, he's going to accept it for what it is and live.
Squeezing Jill gently to his side, he listens silently as she muses on certainty, on finding her feet in this new world, and he can only nod in agreement. ]
There's no call for haste. The little details will fall into place with time, and you know that I'll give you aught that it is within my power to give. That day will come sooner than you expect, and with the dawn, a new life for us.
[ His smile turns a little bit mischievous then, and he bows his head to bring his mouth closer to her ear. ]
On the topic of said soft bed, I certainly hope retiring isn't the extent of your plans.
[It still sounds surreal. Fantastical. Like the words should belong to someone else. And yet they don't. After eighteen long, arduous years – and longer still if Anabella's factored into things – their lives are finally their own, to do with as they please. And in this moment, as Clive speaks into her ear, his breath working a shiver down her back as she tilts her head to best receive his words, Jill knows exactly what she pleases.]
It's not even the beginning of them. We have the whole day, after all, and we'll be somewhere that no one will know to look for us, so we won't once be interrupted.
[Or left to their devices in the seclusion of a deadlands beach, or quieted by the lack of privacy at the Hideaway – even behind closed doors at the blackest point of night – or with her back pressed against a tree in the middle of the forest.
That last one she has to shake from her mind else they find themselves repeating the act. It's not too difficult to dismiss, though, the thought of a comfortable bed and a warm bath still so fresh on her mind.]
Assuming you don't have anything else planned, of course.
[ It's a novel concept for someone who's been shackled by responsibility--whether by his own choice or another's--since the day of his birth, but it's one he's eager to embrace... just as he eagerly embraces his lady.
He feels her shiver and it makes him grin that much harder, but no, they can't get sidetracked the second they step away or they'll never get their task accomplished.
That being said, there's no harm a few small distractions, but they need to get some actual progress made before they reward themselves. ]
My lady, my only plans are to see that your every wish is fulfilled... and that means finding you a suitable abode to rest your lovely head. Once that task is accomplished, our imaginations are the limit.
[With her free hand she gestures to the far left, where the treehouses begin to thin out and a trail of cottages starts marking the way towards the outskirts of the residential area. There, she knows from her wanderings, the forest opens up onto a wide swath of farmland beneath the open sky, blue as any she's ever seen.]
We've been here long enough to get used to the sky, but I don't know that I'll tire of seeing it, knowing now how it feels when it's lost. So, I should like to live somewhere that I can see it always. The moons as well.
[A pause, then:]
I hear they're lovely when they're full. You and Joshua and I should watch the sun set together the next time they are.
The moons here are rather striking, are they not? Valisthea's was impressive on its own, but with a partner they would have left room for little else in the sky. It would be a shame if Metia were lost in the moonlight, though.
[ Clearly, he doesn't recall the way that Metia faded from the sky after Ultima was defeated and Origin was destroyed. He'd only had eyes for the moon on that night. ]
Mayhaps we could set up a spit roast over a fire--make a regular event of it. Moon viewing, just the three of us.
[ 'Room to build a fire pit.' Their list of requirements for their home grows, but not in any unreasonable way, and certainly not in any way that this world would be unable to provide them in good time.
The forest gives way to open fields and pastures, and Clive allows himself to enjoy the fresh air, the breeze smelling of grasses and unfamiliar flowers. Whether it was fate or fortune that brought them here, he's grateful all the same--grateful that he can share a world this beautiful with the people he loves the most. ]
We might raise a few animals. I saw a creature the other day that looked... not unlike a potato with legs. We should have twenty of them. [ He's joking (mostly). ] I'm not sure what they'd be good for, but I liked the look of them.
[There's a momentary shift in Jill when Clive mentions Metia. A held breath. A slightly longer exhale. A reassertion of a different kind of uncertainty than the one she'd expressed regarding furniture. Her hold on his waist tightens ever slightly at the reminder of how fortunate she is to have him here by her side. It's a brief little thing, though, and soon she's relaxing back into the gentle timbre of his voice and the image he paints of a happiness that's eluded the three of them for far too long.]
Mm, and on pleasant nights we can fall asleep under the stars and wake up with the sun to make breakfast.
[A pause. Then, she looks over to him again, her smile shifting ever further into something playful.]
For us and for our... potatoes with legs as well. Whatever they're good for won't matter. They'll live free on our land, won't they?
[Jill can't quite picture the critters Clive speaks of, but she can see the two of them spending their days out in wide fields of green, in service of simpler needs than those they had to meet at the Hideaway. It's a sight that grows ever clearer as they emerge from the woods, and Jill lets her own imagination bloom.]
Maybe you can introduce me to them tomorrow. Then I can show you overalls if you've not discovered them yet. When I saw them, I couldn't shake the image of you wearing them with nothing underneath. After all the battles we've fought, I never thought I'd want to see us caked in dirt and glistening with sweat again, but here, all it has to mean is that we'll take a longer bath at the end of the day. That should suit us both quite well.
[Being out here suits them in general, she thinks. Everything is so peaceful, so fresh, so alive and thriving. All around them are small farm cottages on plots as small as an acre and as large as five, and Jill can see them starting a life in any one of them. She feels spoiled for choice. Too spoiled. So she asks:]
[ He feels it when Jill tightens her grip on him, and he returns the gesture, comforting or affectionate--whatever she needs him to be, whatever she needs from him. He's willing and ready to offer of himself for her.
He also chooses that moment to swipe the bag she's carrying and sling it over his own shoulder, imagining their little family enjoying warm nights spent out under the stars, surrounded by the strange and wonderful creatures of this world. He loves that she accepts his description of the capybaras, easily incorporating them into her vision of their future together. He can't stop smiling.
In fact, it occurs to him that he's smiled more since his arrival here than in the last eighteen years. Not that there hadn't been cause for celebration on occasion in Valisthea, but their circumstances had been such that the weight of his responsibilities often kept him from truly expressing joy or pleasure. There's a foreignness to the way it stretches the skin of his scarred cheek, but it's something he thinks he could easily grow accustomed to. ]
Overalls? I can't say that I've seen them, but if my lady desires that I should don them with naught beneath but my skin, I wouldn't dream of denying her wish.
[ At her question, Clive takes a moment to survey the landscape, humming contemplatively before pointing to a cottage in the middle distance. ]
[Jill hardly would have minded carrying the sandwiches – the bag is easily manageable, even if it's a little heavy from the thermoses filled with orange juice she also brought along – but she doesn't mind Clive taking it either, and so she angles her shoulders to make it easier for him. Time has stolen much from him, and she's glad that his chivalry has remained intact. Grateful, too, that after thirteen years of being treated as something less than human, they've each been able to find their true selves reflected in the other's love, and happy to see how much more he smiles these days.
Her heart still flutters whenever he looks at her with that reignited light in his eyes – one that shines every bit as brightly in her own – and if he feel a fraction of the same way about her resurgent happiness, then she's also happy for that.]
Your lady does desire it, just as she desires to see your wishes fulfilled.
[The cottage he's pointed to is nestled among too many trees for her to get a good sense of it yet, but that's hardly a drawback; she'd grown to enjoy the seclusion of the Hideaway, and there's something about the way the cottage tucks itself away that gives her a similar feeling. Besides, she likes seeing its charm reveal itself like a treasure emerging from beneath wind-blown sand the nearer they get. There's something homey about how its how its entrance opens up like outstretched arms and the way a shallow pond curls up next to it like a loyal companion, and she lets her mind wander to thoughts of Torgal chasing a herd of potatoes around the grounds while Ambrosia grazes nearby.]
It's beautiful, isn't it? More so than I'd have thought to dream.
[Here, Jill shifts, moving to take Clive's hand again as she starts walking them towards the front door.]
Whenever we'd talk about our plans back in Valisthea, I always assumed it would have been months, if not years, before we'd be able to find a place of our own. I can scarcely believe we'll have one before the day ends.
[ It's not really about the sandwiches, though--it's about not asking her to carry burdens that are meant to be shared between the both of them. He wouldn't chalk that up to chivalry, but to his love for her. Not that he wouldn't help someone else in a similar situation, but he takes a particular pleasure in doing things for her because he loves her more than the breath of life itself. Their shared happiness is a beautiful thing in the way that it grows stronger with each day, each gesture, the both of them feeding into each other and in turn nourishing themselves.
Clives brows arch in amusement when Jill confirms that yes, she does in fact want him in nothing but overalls, and he chuffs a laugh as he gives her a squeeze. ]
As you wish, my lady. I shall procure them forthwith.
[ As they approach the cottage and it comes more clearly into view, Clive is actually surprised at just how much he likes the look of the place. It's relatively small, but still looks large enough for both of them to stretch their legs out without getting cramped. There's something pleasantly familiar about the stonework, about the shapes that comprise the little house--it feels right somehow. ]
It is beautiful. It's been a long time since I've lived anywhere so... green.
[ He allows Jill to take the lead, following along to the front door, but before she opens the door, he stoops to scoop her up into his arms, bridal style. ]
Allow me.
[ Deftly, he opens the door and angles them in such a way that Jill won't be in danger of hitting her head on the frame as he steps over the threshold. He sets her down once they're inside, but it felt right to carry her in, because this little cottage feels like the kind of place where he could live with her for a long time. ]
It has a fireplace, as requested. Let's take a look and see if the bath is sufficient.
[Being lifted off her feet takes Jill by surprise; she lets out a little squeal of a laugh and a jokingly admonishing "Clive" before wrapping an arm around his neck, moving along with him as he angles them safely inside. The gesture only adds to the feeling of home that's already begun to burrow its way into her heart, and her mind wanders to the thought of him lifting her off Ambrosia's back and carrying her like this again, through this very same door, on their wedding night.
And every now and again after that as well, she hopes. It might be something small in the grander scheme of things, but she likes these little surprises. Likes being kept on her toes like this, never knowing where joy awaits her but understanding that it does all the same.
There's a definite bounce to her step as her feet meet the floor, and she looks around with a sense of wonder not unlike that with which she viewed the heart of Drake's Head. All the furniture is fairly basic – just neutral shapes in neutral fabrics – but Jill's awe isn't rooted in the present, anyway. Rather, it's born of the faith that their future is finally, finally scaffolded by dreams that feel more real than fantastical.]
And plenty of room for curling up in front of it.
[Said as they walk past the living room, down the hall and towards the washroom. She steps inside first, then stands off to the side, from where she motions towards the sizeable tub tucked away in its own little cubby, beaming an impish little grin as she does. One that's been lost to her since she was a girl.]
[ They'll need a rug to spread out in front of the hearth--something soft and plush so their bodies won't get too stiff and sore if they fall asleep lying by the fire. The place is rather bare at present, but the space somehow feels like it's the perfect size--almost like they'd dreamed it up this way. There will be time for them to add their mementos. An empty house, ready to be turned into a home.
He follows her down the hall, his eyes crinkling in amusement as they survey the bath. Without a hint of protest, he removes his cape and folds it, setting it on the counter, then stoops to slip out of his boots before finally climbing into the tub and taking a seat. He makes a point of sinking down a bit, stretching his limbs, making sure the dimensions are sufficient for his rather broad frame. ]
It seems that it suits me fine, but it isn't just for me.
[ Holding out his hand, he waits for Jill to follow his example, climbing into the bath so he can situate her between his raised knees and loosely drape his arms around her. He hums in soft pleasure, tugging her back gently to rest against his chest, nuzzling her affectionately once she's settled comfortably. ]
Here I was thinking we'd need to look at a dozen different houses today, and yet... I like this one. What say you? Shall we stake our claim?
[With her own boots off and placed neatly to the side, Jill makes her way into the tub to join Clive. He needn't encourage her to rest against him all that much; she's of the same mind, and she settles into place with all the ease of belonging. Like this, she rests her head against his shoulder, cheek to chest, though she doesn't look up at him. Not yet. Her focus falls instead to his hands, and she takes the left one in hers in such a way that her fingers curl under his and her thumb presses against the bare base of his ring finger.]
We've certainly made ourselves at home, haven't we? I know there's something to be said for weighing one's options but... that doesn't feel right. This does.
[Sighing softly, she shimmies just a bit so she can reach her free hand into the small leather satchel attached to her belt. From it, she procures a ring, which she holds up for him to see. It's now that she looks up at him, watching to see how he reacts. If she feels silly at all about making this proposal while they're both fully clothed in a bathtub, it doesn't show; all she outwardly bears is a sense of peace.
And maybe some nervous energy, too. The good kind – the kind where she's about to leap from an unfamiliar height with full faith that her landing will be gentle.]
So, let's seal this claim with another vow. If my ring represents a love undying, and this house a home long fought for, then let this ring symbolise sanctuary – yours in me, and mine in you. And may we find rest and respite in each other, just like this, so long as this dream keeps our house standing and our rings bearing our warmth.
[Her grip on his hand shifts so that his fingers lay upon her palm. There's a tremble to her hand that she doesn't bother to hide because she feels no shame over what effects her love for him have on her.]
Will you accept it, Clive?
[A formality; she knows he will, in the same way that he'd known she'd accept his proposal. But they didn't fight as long and as hard as they did to take each other's voices, even when they can predict which words will come, so she awaits his answer.]
[ In their tub, in their house, Clive's face softens when Jill offers him a ring in exchange for the one he'd given her, like the piece that completes a puzzle slotting into place. It's perfect for him, really--simple but striking, obviously chosen with him in mind, as her ring had been made for her hand. He's certain it will be a perfect fit.
Jill shivers with anticipation, and he pulls her in to gently kiss her lips before nodding, holding his rough hand with fingers spread so she can place the ring as she pleases. ]
I would have no other, not in this life or the next. I accept it, just as I accept you, just as you have always accepted me. Your heart has long been my refuge, my darling--the foundation upon which I built my hopes for the future, for what joy could I have ever wished for in my life beyond the shelter of your arms? When the world is uncertain, I need only look to you to find security.
[ Once she's done sliding the ring home on his finger, he takes the time to observe it in the afternoon light that slants through the opaque bathroom window, not unlike how she'd observed her ring in the moonlight on that beach. The stone glints Rosarian red, and he rubs his thumb over the smooth band. ]
Look at us. Our little family in our little house. Ours and ours alone. I could scarcely have imagined I would see this day, but here we are. How does it feel, my lady?
[The kiss, though brief, stays some of Jill's nerves, and she runs her thumb along Clive's knuckles as he says his piece. The way she gazes so lovingly into his eyes never falters, even as his words threaten to stoke the tears that already burn behind her own eyes. This time they don't fall, though, only going so far as to glisten in the muted sunlight as she slides the ring into its proper place. Once he's taken his look at it, and his hand has returned to hers, she'll hook their pinkies together so that their rings sit side by side, the silvery moon and its red star, bright once more.
How does it feel, he asks, and she doesn't need to think about it at all.]
It feels like freedom. Like our sun has finally risen. It's a prayer answered, too, isn't it, and a blessing granted. But I suppose that above all else it feels... like peace. At least, I think it does.
[A laugh, soft and teasing, a bit inward. Of course she knows. It's just that it's been so long since either of them have been able to look towards future horizons without their fate staring them down like a threat that the feeling still a bit vague, even if it's never been more pronounced than it is now.
There are more things she feels, of course, like giddy and excited. Girlish, even, in some of the ways that hope strikes her. Mournful of everything they've lost to reach this point, but immeasurably grateful as well. However fleeting it may be, they finally have the chance to exist on their own terms, in a world that doesn't need them to hold it together whilst it crumbles in on them from all directions. What more could she ask for?
None of this begs saying, though; if it's not obvious from how she shines like light in Clive's arms, then it's too dark for the mood, and for now, she just wants to be happy for a while.]
Peace. [ He hums low in his throat, rubbing his scarred cheek with the tips of his fingers inn contemplation. ] Even before... before everything that happened, I'm not sure I knew what peace felt like--not like I feel it here.
[There had been moments of calm and quiet, moments of joy, moments of happiness, but none of those could quite make up for his mother's disdain or the state of the world, fraught as it was with war and blight, slowly crumbling apart under their feet as an ancient god's machinations brought ruin to nations.
But here? Here he can be at peace, well and truly. ]
It feels like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I can finally be at my ease, even if I were to work the land from dawn 'til dusk. [ Wrapping his arms around Jill, he nuzzles her and kisses her again. ] It's a beautiful dream, but it's only this beautiful because you're in it. Thank you for sharing this with me, and for agreeing to be my wife.
[ But there's something else on his mind, and he thinks now would be the perfect time to pose the question he's been considering since he asked for her hand. ]
Were we still in Rosaria--were Rosaria still as it was all those years ago--you would soon be Lady Rosfield. But... we are no longer in Rosaria, and we are not bound to its customs. I am a Rosfield by birth, but I do not expect you to take that name when you bind your life to mine. The choice, then, I leave to you: take my name if you wish, or keep your own. You have accepted me, and I want only for your happiness.
[As Clive speaks of finding peace, Jill curls up more against him, letting out a happy little sigh once she's settled. She's wished for these very words to spill from his lips for so long that she can't remember ever feeling otherwise, and hearing them feels better than she'd ever imagined they would.
The way they're snuggled together now makes it easier for her to reach for him, and so she does, running the backs of her fingers along his jaw, then beneath his chin as she shifts to her fingertips to rest her hand at the side of his neck. Her thumb finds the place where his scar disappears behind his scruff, and she strokes it softly a few times before speaking.]
Thank you for asking me. To marry you, I mean, but also what I want.
[She has, of course, given it some thought already. In many ways, she stands at a crossroads, both here and back home, and she knows that part of finding herself down whichever paths she chooses will start with her establishing the frameworks of an identity. And that begins with a name.
There's a slight pause before she speaks, if only so she can decide on where to begin. It's not as easy as yes, and it's important to her that Clive understands where she's coming from.]
For a while after I arrived at Rosalith, when I'd dream of better, it would be of the North. I'd convinced myself that all my father had to do was see to a few more years of peace, and then Lord Elwin would consider the terms of their treaty fulfilled and send me home.
[The dream of a little girl who didn't know any better. Anabella and the governesses had made quick enough work of that, though, in all the ways they made it clear that they intended to snuff as much of the North out of her as they could manage. They'd never let her forget that she wasn't a Rosarian, yet they'd pushed to turn her into one all the same.]
By the time I realised that would never happen, I'd already found a new better. You, Clive. I'd practise my official signature in the margins of books I knew no one else would read, and it was always Lady Jill Rosfield. It may be your name by birth, but you and Joshua made it mine as well through love. Taking it now is my happiness.
[It's not the whole of her story, though, and so she continues.]
But I want to honour my past, too. If we're ever so fortunate as to have children of our own, I'd like to name the first after my father if it's a boy, and Silver Mae for the Silvermane should we have a girl. There are other Warricks left to carry on our name, but I was my father's only child. It's only through me that his legacy will endure.
[ As Jill speaks, Clive listens in silence, his hands roaming with gentle touches across her back, down her arms, her legs, finally settling in a loose embrace. He does not take it for granted that she is happy to be with him, given the history of their families.
Fortunately for him (and everyone else) he is nothing like his mother. He would never make her feel like an outcast on the margins of their family. He cares about what she wants more than he can rightly express, and the fact that she wants to be Jill Rosfield fills his chest with warmth like a Phoenix flame. To give her what she asks in exchange is easy, granted in a heartbeat without question, and really would have been even if she'd chosen to keep the Warrick name.
Now, if he recalls correctly, her father's name was... ]
Randolph and Silver Mae Rosfield. Both fine names indeed. They will be fortunate to have you for a mother--to know without a moment's doubt that they are cherished.
[ He doesn't know if it's even possible for them to have children in this world of dreams, and in truth, the prospect of parenthood is one he faces with a bit of trepidation. Clive still admires his father, but when he actually stops to think about what he would do differently, he can admit to himself that the man should have done more--done something, anything--to stand between his wife and his children. Clive might still never have known what a mother's love feels like, but to have been spared her obvious loathing...
No. There's no point in dwelling on it. They'll do better, he and Jill. ]
What other names shall we pick for our future children, hm? Perhaps... Hanna, for a second daughter?
[Clive's gentle touches come with equally gentle tingles that rise all the way to Jill's scalp, and she exhales, content, before reaching to tilt his face towards her for another kiss. She smiles into it before pulling away, enjoying the simplicity of being held. Time shifts into something languid and relaxed, and she knows she could easily lose the entire day to this mood, soft and slow and sweet as it is.
Maybe they can't have children here. Maybe they never will. The thought that they might is nice all the same, and she carries it forwards without getting bogged down in all the buts that would arise if she'd let them.]
And you for a father. I can see the effects of your love on Joshua even now, and I know that our children will be blessed in much the same way.
[Little Randolph and Sliver Mae Rosfield both. The names sound even better in Clive's voice than they did in her mind. And when he offers up Hanna as an option, she's all too happy to follow suit.]
If there's a Hanna, then there ought to be a Rodney, too.
[A moment's pause follows as Jill considers other names. Her own thoughts travel to Elwin – to how, for all his shortcomings, he still gave her a better life than most in his position would have. And even if she'd never really seen him as a father, she can acknowledge all the same that he'd treated her as his daughter. There are some things about him she'll never be able to accept, but nothing that leads her to believe that he doesn't deserve the same treatment as her father, should Clive desire to grant it to him.
So, her next question isn't a concession. It's no trade of one namesake for another. It's asked in earnest, in a tone that's soft and warm with a melancholic lilt.]
Would you like to honour your father as well? I wouldn't mind bringing a second Elwin into the world, or maybe an Eli or a Winnie.
Knowing how the absence of a parent’s love can affect a child, how could I do anything less than give my own all of mine that I can? They deserve nothing less.
[ The thought of Rodney Murdoch is still a painful one for Clive—the fact that it was he himself that was responsible for the death of someone he respected so much, and the pain and fear that Lord Murdoch must have experienced in his last moments as Ifrit’s flames consumed him. Ever since he’d come to terms with the fact that he was that second Dominant of Fire that he’d hunted for so long, the weight of that death and many others has sat heavily upon his shoulders.
He doesn’t show it on his face, though, beyond a moment of pensive silence and a nod. ]
Rodney Rosfield. It would be fitting.
[ Her next question is one that gives him pause. Ironic that Joshua had asked him a similar question not too long ago. Did he want to honor his father? Of course he does, but he tempers his response. ]
If we have that many children, then perhaps. I don’t want you to feel that you must simply because you wouldn’t mind it. And… there are so many feelings already attached to that name—I would not wish for a child of ours to feel beholden to the past because of the regard I hold for my father.
[The mood shifts ever slightly, but Jill hardly minds. Happiness is reduced to something ordinary when it's all one knows, and this new tone doesn't make her any less comfortable. So she finds Clive's hands. Laces her fingers between his. Tilts her face to press the gentlest of kisses to his neck.
It's difficult for her to relate to his feelings regarding Rodney. She can't begin to see it as his responsibility, since she knows, at the very least, that he wasn't in control. What that means, however, is lost to her; Shiva's never done the same in her body, always yielding to Jill's command. Except the first time, but Jill was in fetters before she could prime, then, and she remembers little of the rest.
Instead of dwelling on that part of her past, she focuses in on what Clive says about his father. On how he doesn't want her to she feel that she must. She squeezes his hands and relaxes a bit more against him with a soft exhale.]
So much of what I've done in life has been because I'd convinced myself that it must be done. I've thought a lot over the last five years about how different everything might have been if only I'd stood my ground, or... I don't know. What I mean to say is you freed me from that, and I won't disrespect all you've done by doing things for you because I feel I must.
[It's not just for his sake, though. The moment she starts looking at Clive and finding ways to obligate herself to him is the moment she's lost herself again.]
If honouring his name doesn't suit you, we'll find some other way for him to live on through us, because it's important to me that you and our children have that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rosecarmine
[action]
Date: 2024-03-21 11:42 pm (UTC)At least this time, those circumstances aren't unkind. Merely different. An adjustment they get to make on their own terms for once in their damned lives.
The conversation happens in the evening, so Jill and Clive set out in the morning, their bellies full with a hearty breakfast and the bag across Jill's shoulder packed with sandwiches for lunch, should their search for a home extend into the afternoon. Joshua sees them off, and after a few steps down the nearest path, Jill looks to Clive, softly smiling.]
Let's look for a cottage. One with room enough for a garden, and space for Torgal too.
[She pauses for a moment, contemplative. Then, her smile shifts into something almost but not quite sheepish.]
I've no ill to speak of the Hideaway, but I do miss living on solid ground.
[Really, she just wants something ordinary.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-22 02:16 am (UTC)Either way, it isn't worth dwelling on. His mother is no longer an obstacle or a threat to either of them, and while Clive would never have put her to the sword himself, he is not sorry that she's gone.
Banishing his unpleasant thoughts, he brings Jill's hand to his lips and kisses her fingers tenderly before giving them a squeeze as they step out into the pleasant morning. He will swipe their lunch bag from her when she least expects it, but he leaves it be for now. ]
I like the sound of a garden. We can build beds for flowers all around, so that you you will never be short of materials when I need a new garland.
[ He grins down at her, feeling lighter than he has in... well, twenty years, easily. ]
We don't need a huge place. I'd prefer a cozy home with spacious grounds, myself.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-22 02:55 pm (UTC)They'd have never been free, though, not in Rosalith and not in the North. She wishes they'd have been able to take a kinder path to reach this point, but she's glad that they're here now, bound by their hearts to what matters to them most.
Especially the little things. The ones that are easy to take for granted. Like the gentle press of his lips to her fingers; like those same fingers as she threads them between his, holding his hand as they move through the treehouses, sunlight streaming through the canopy of leaves above and dappling the path before them.
When he mentions the garland, she laughs a bit, just a breathy thing, barely any noise at all. Every time she'd gone to his chambers and seen it hung on his wall with the rest of his mementos, she felt a surge of warmth.]
This time, I'll see you wear one. We'll grow vegetables as well, and make a stew at the end of the season for others to enjoy along with us.
[Cosy sounds just right, and Jill leans ever slightly against Clive as he speaks.]
I'd like that, too. It'd be nice if we could find somewhere with a fireplace and a big bath, and with enough windows that we'll never be lacking for light when the sun is shining.
[A pause, then:]
I hear that the homes change based on the dreams of the people who reside within them, so why not dream with our whole hearts, right?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-23 10:00 pm (UTC)[ The truth is that Clive would be happy anywhere he and Jill were together, and his primary goal is to find a home where he can see to it that she's kept comfortably, that all her needs are met, that she has room to do the things she enjoys. Clive dreaming with his whole heart is dreaming of a place that she will love, above everything. ]
If it's true that the homes can change, then perhaps we needn't be overly concerned about the initial look of the place? Perhaps the location is of greater import, and the amenities we desire can be added on in time.
[ It gives them a bit of wiggle room, anyway, though Clive also considers that they'll need room for the gift he's planning to give Jill for their wedding. Suffice to say, Torgal's won't be the only furry feet running around their home, but she doesn't know that yet. ]
Mm, yes, a hearth with a thick rug laid out to recline on when the nights get cold.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-24 12:14 am (UTC)That settles it, then. Let's look for one on a large parcel of land that we can shape with our own hands, and let everything else sort itself out.
[That way, they can have it both; a home that's made for them, and one they can make their own. Besides, just as they need room for Clive's gift to Jill, they'll need plenty of space for the gift that she has in mind for him.]
For once, I'm glad for the magic. It'll give us more time to enjoy each other's company. Joshua's as well.
[A pause, then:]
And to plan our wedding. I must admit, that sounds more enticing than shopping for furniture.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-27 02:36 am (UTC)I'll admit, it's been a bit difficult to fully feel at ease with the magic here. Valisthea's magic caused so much suffering to so many people, but here... it's different--not a curse, not a burden. If it allows me to dedicate my time to you and Joshua, then I have no complaints.
[ Reaching down, Clive slings his arm around Jill's body, allowing his hand to settle on her hip. He feels more at peace now than he can recall ever having felt during his life; it's a foreign feeling, one he scarcely knows how to process. How does one simply exist in such a state, feeling such contentment? It's more than he ever believed he would have.
At the mention of their wedding, Clive ducks his head, a grin spreading across his face. The mere mention of it makes him eager with anticipation. ]
Indeed it does. But... there is an appeal to furniture shopping. You and I, in a home we chose, surrounded by the things we've picked for ourselves simply because we like them. Decorating to suit our own tastes. That's a bit enticing, isn't it? Our wedding is the first step--the start of the rest of our lives.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-27 04:44 pm (UTC)It's far from perfect, but it is better. I'd never thought that magic could be giving, I suppose.
[That word, giving, feels far from perfect too – Jill knows that it takes from people as well – but she figures it's a close enough approximation to what she means. It's reunited her with her family and asked for nothing in return; it's given Joshua a home that he adores, and will soon do the same for Clive and herself. There's something beautiful about a spell that channels the energy of their love to manifest an ideal place for them to start their lives together, and she isn't so cynical as to ignore that.
Still, she adds:]
At least sometimes.
[When Clive wraps his arm around her, Jill bumps him with her shoulder, then looks to him with a playful gleam to her eyes that grows all the more bright as he grins. The sight of him smiling compels her to mirror his touch, and she glides her own hand across his back to rest on his waist. There's birdsong all around them. The air is clean, carried on a breeze that smells mostly of forest, but sometimes the aroma of flowers wafts up from nearby beds and bushes. It's such a peaceful moment that she can't help but bask in it a moment before responding to the rest of what he's said.]
It's not... not enticing. It's rather that I wouldn't know where to begin, or what I even want. And I know we'd help each other figure it out, but I need something to feel more certain about while I'm still getting my bearings here. Our wedding gives me that certainty, Clive. That's what makes it more enticing. We can figure the rest out later, can't we? At least we'll have a hearth to cook our food over and a soft bed to retire to at night in the meantime.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-30 10:50 pm (UTC)For now, he's going to accept it for what it is and live.
Squeezing Jill gently to his side, he listens silently as she muses on certainty, on finding her feet in this new world, and he can only nod in agreement. ]
There's no call for haste. The little details will fall into place with time, and you know that I'll give you aught that it is within my power to give. That day will come sooner than you expect, and with the dawn, a new life for us.
[ His smile turns a little bit mischievous then, and he bows his head to bring his mouth closer to her ear. ]
On the topic of said soft bed, I certainly hope retiring isn't the extent of your plans.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-30 11:30 pm (UTC)[It still sounds surreal. Fantastical. Like the words should belong to someone else. And yet they don't. After eighteen long, arduous years – and longer still if Anabella's factored into things – their lives are finally their own, to do with as they please. And in this moment, as Clive speaks into her ear, his breath working a shiver down her back as she tilts her head to best receive his words, Jill knows exactly what she pleases.]
It's not even the beginning of them. We have the whole day, after all, and we'll be somewhere that no one will know to look for us, so we won't once be interrupted.
[Or left to their devices in the seclusion of a deadlands beach, or quieted by the lack of privacy at the Hideaway – even behind closed doors at the blackest point of night – or with her back pressed against a tree in the middle of the forest.
That last one she has to shake from her mind else they find themselves repeating the act. It's not too difficult to dismiss, though, the thought of a comfortable bed and a warm bath still so fresh on her mind.]
Assuming you don't have anything else planned, of course.
[Said cheekily; she knows he doesn't.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-31 12:08 am (UTC)[ It's a novel concept for someone who's been shackled by responsibility--whether by his own choice or another's--since the day of his birth, but it's one he's eager to embrace... just as he eagerly embraces his lady.
He feels her shiver and it makes him grin that much harder, but no, they can't get sidetracked the second they step away or they'll never get their task accomplished.
That being said, there's no harm a few small distractions, but they need to get some actual progress made before they reward themselves. ]
My lady, my only plans are to see that your every wish is fulfilled... and that means finding you a suitable abode to rest your lovely head. Once that task is accomplished, our imaginations are the limit.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-03-31 12:33 am (UTC)[With her free hand she gestures to the far left, where the treehouses begin to thin out and a trail of cottages starts marking the way towards the outskirts of the residential area. There, she knows from her wanderings, the forest opens up onto a wide swath of farmland beneath the open sky, blue as any she's ever seen.]
We've been here long enough to get used to the sky, but I don't know that I'll tire of seeing it, knowing now how it feels when it's lost. So, I should like to live somewhere that I can see it always. The moons as well.
[A pause, then:]
I hear they're lovely when they're full. You and Joshua and I should watch the sun set together the next time they are.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-07 05:51 pm (UTC)[ Clearly, he doesn't recall the way that Metia faded from the sky after Ultima was defeated and Origin was destroyed. He'd only had eyes for the moon on that night. ]
Mayhaps we could set up a spit roast over a fire--make a regular event of it. Moon viewing, just the three of us.
[ 'Room to build a fire pit.' Their list of requirements for their home grows, but not in any unreasonable way, and certainly not in any way that this world would be unable to provide them in good time.
The forest gives way to open fields and pastures, and Clive allows himself to enjoy the fresh air, the breeze smelling of grasses and unfamiliar flowers. Whether it was fate or fortune that brought them here, he's grateful all the same--grateful that he can share a world this beautiful with the people he loves the most. ]
We might raise a few animals. I saw a creature the other day that looked... not unlike a potato with legs. We should have twenty of them. [ He's joking (mostly). ] I'm not sure what they'd be good for, but I liked the look of them.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-07 11:33 pm (UTC)Mm, and on pleasant nights we can fall asleep under the stars and wake up with the sun to make breakfast.
[A pause. Then, she looks over to him again, her smile shifting ever further into something playful.]
For us and for our... potatoes with legs as well. Whatever they're good for won't matter. They'll live free on our land, won't they?
[Jill can't quite picture the critters Clive speaks of, but she can see the two of them spending their days out in wide fields of green, in service of simpler needs than those they had to meet at the Hideaway. It's a sight that grows ever clearer as they emerge from the woods, and Jill lets her own imagination bloom.]
Maybe you can introduce me to them tomorrow. Then I can show you overalls if you've not discovered them yet. When I saw them, I couldn't shake the image of you wearing them with nothing underneath. After all the battles we've fought, I never thought I'd want to see us caked in dirt and glistening with sweat again, but here, all it has to mean is that we'll take a longer bath at the end of the day. That should suit us both quite well.
[Being out here suits them in general, she thinks. Everything is so peaceful, so fresh, so alive and thriving. All around them are small farm cottages on plots as small as an acre and as large as five, and Jill can see them starting a life in any one of them. She feels spoiled for choice. Too spoiled. So she asks:]
Which one first?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-11 05:54 am (UTC)He also chooses that moment to swipe the bag she's carrying and sling it over his own shoulder, imagining their little family enjoying warm nights spent out under the stars, surrounded by the strange and wonderful creatures of this world. He loves that she accepts his description of the capybaras, easily incorporating them into her vision of their future together. He can't stop smiling.
In fact, it occurs to him that he's smiled more since his arrival here than in the last eighteen years. Not that there hadn't been cause for celebration on occasion in Valisthea, but their circumstances had been such that the weight of his responsibilities often kept him from truly expressing joy or pleasure. There's a foreignness to the way it stretches the skin of his scarred cheek, but it's something he thinks he could easily grow accustomed to. ]
Overalls? I can't say that I've seen them, but if my lady desires that I should don them with naught beneath but my skin, I wouldn't dream of denying her wish.
[ At her question, Clive takes a moment to survey the landscape, humming contemplatively before pointing to a cottage in the middle distance. ]
Why don't we start there?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-11 05:30 pm (UTC)Her heart still flutters whenever he looks at her with that reignited light in his eyes – one that shines every bit as brightly in her own – and if he feel a fraction of the same way about her resurgent happiness, then she's also happy for that.]
Your lady does desire it, just as she desires to see your wishes fulfilled.
[The cottage he's pointed to is nestled among too many trees for her to get a good sense of it yet, but that's hardly a drawback; she'd grown to enjoy the seclusion of the Hideaway, and there's something about the way the cottage tucks itself away that gives her a similar feeling. Besides, she likes seeing its charm reveal itself like a treasure emerging from beneath wind-blown sand the nearer they get. There's something homey about how its how its entrance opens up like outstretched arms and the way a shallow pond curls up next to it like a loyal companion, and she lets her mind wander to thoughts of Torgal chasing a herd of potatoes around the grounds while Ambrosia grazes nearby.]
It's beautiful, isn't it? More so than I'd have thought to dream.
[Here, Jill shifts, moving to take Clive's hand again as she starts walking them towards the front door.]
Whenever we'd talk about our plans back in Valisthea, I always assumed it would have been months, if not years, before we'd be able to find a place of our own. I can scarcely believe we'll have one before the day ends.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-13 04:02 pm (UTC)Clives brows arch in amusement when Jill confirms that yes, she does in fact want him in nothing but overalls, and he chuffs a laugh as he gives her a squeeze. ]
As you wish, my lady. I shall procure them forthwith.
[ As they approach the cottage and it comes more clearly into view, Clive is actually surprised at just how much he likes the look of the place. It's relatively small, but still looks large enough for both of them to stretch their legs out without getting cramped. There's something pleasantly familiar about the stonework, about the shapes that comprise the little house--it feels right somehow. ]
It is beautiful. It's been a long time since I've lived anywhere so... green.
[ He allows Jill to take the lead, following along to the front door, but before she opens the door, he stoops to scoop her up into his arms, bridal style. ]
Allow me.
[ Deftly, he opens the door and angles them in such a way that Jill won't be in danger of hitting her head on the frame as he steps over the threshold. He sets her down once they're inside, but it felt right to carry her in, because this little cottage feels like the kind of place where he could live with her for a long time. ]
It has a fireplace, as requested. Let's take a look and see if the bath is sufficient.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-13 06:02 pm (UTC)And every now and again after that as well, she hopes. It might be something small in the grander scheme of things, but she likes these little surprises. Likes being kept on her toes like this, never knowing where joy awaits her but understanding that it does all the same.
There's a definite bounce to her step as her feet meet the floor, and she looks around with a sense of wonder not unlike that with which she viewed the heart of Drake's Head. All the furniture is fairly basic – just neutral shapes in neutral fabrics – but Jill's awe isn't rooted in the present, anyway. Rather, it's born of the faith that their future is finally, finally scaffolded by dreams that feel more real than fantastical.]
And plenty of room for curling up in front of it.
[Said as they walk past the living room, down the hall and towards the washroom. She steps inside first, then stands off to the side, from where she motions towards the sizeable tub tucked away in its own little cubby, beaming an impish little grin as she does. One that's been lost to her since she was a girl.]
Go on, then. Let's see how well it suits you.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-18 01:55 am (UTC)He follows her down the hall, his eyes crinkling in amusement as they survey the bath. Without a hint of protest, he removes his cape and folds it, setting it on the counter, then stoops to slip out of his boots before finally climbing into the tub and taking a seat. He makes a point of sinking down a bit, stretching his limbs, making sure the dimensions are sufficient for his rather broad frame. ]
It seems that it suits me fine, but it isn't just for me.
[ Holding out his hand, he waits for Jill to follow his example, climbing into the bath so he can situate her between his raised knees and loosely drape his arms around her. He hums in soft pleasure, tugging her back gently to rest against his chest, nuzzling her affectionately once she's settled comfortably. ]
Here I was thinking we'd need to look at a dozen different houses today, and yet... I like this one. What say you? Shall we stake our claim?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-18 11:21 pm (UTC)We've certainly made ourselves at home, haven't we? I know there's something to be said for weighing one's options but... that doesn't feel right. This does.
[Sighing softly, she shimmies just a bit so she can reach her free hand into the small leather satchel attached to her belt. From it, she procures a ring, which she holds up for him to see. It's now that she looks up at him, watching to see how he reacts. If she feels silly at all about making this proposal while they're both fully clothed in a bathtub, it doesn't show; all she outwardly bears is a sense of peace.
And maybe some nervous energy, too. The good kind – the kind where she's about to leap from an unfamiliar height with full faith that her landing will be gentle.]
So, let's seal this claim with another vow. If my ring represents a love undying, and this house a home long fought for, then let this ring symbolise sanctuary – yours in me, and mine in you. And may we find rest and respite in each other, just like this, so long as this dream keeps our house standing and our rings bearing our warmth.
[Her grip on his hand shifts so that his fingers lay upon her palm. There's a tremble to her hand that she doesn't bother to hide because she feels no shame over what effects her love for him have on her.]
Will you accept it, Clive?
[A formality; she knows he will, in the same way that he'd known she'd accept his proposal. But they didn't fight as long and as hard as they did to take each other's voices, even when they can predict which words will come, so she awaits his answer.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-20 04:39 am (UTC)Jill shivers with anticipation, and he pulls her in to gently kiss her lips before nodding, holding his rough hand with fingers spread so she can place the ring as she pleases. ]
I would have no other, not in this life or the next. I accept it, just as I accept you, just as you have always accepted me. Your heart has long been my refuge, my darling--the foundation upon which I built my hopes for the future, for what joy could I have ever wished for in my life beyond the shelter of your arms? When the world is uncertain, I need only look to you to find security.
[ Once she's done sliding the ring home on his finger, he takes the time to observe it in the afternoon light that slants through the opaque bathroom window, not unlike how she'd observed her ring in the moonlight on that beach. The stone glints Rosarian red, and he rubs his thumb over the smooth band. ]
Look at us. Our little family in our little house. Ours and ours alone. I could scarcely have imagined I would see this day, but here we are. How does it feel, my lady?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-20 02:53 pm (UTC)How does it feel, he asks, and she doesn't need to think about it at all.]
It feels like freedom. Like our sun has finally risen. It's a prayer answered, too, isn't it, and a blessing granted. But I suppose that above all else it feels... like peace. At least, I think it does.
[A laugh, soft and teasing, a bit inward. Of course she knows. It's just that it's been so long since either of them have been able to look towards future horizons without their fate staring them down like a threat that the feeling still a bit vague, even if it's never been more pronounced than it is now.
There are more things she feels, of course, like giddy and excited. Girlish, even, in some of the ways that hope strikes her. Mournful of everything they've lost to reach this point, but immeasurably grateful as well. However fleeting it may be, they finally have the chance to exist on their own terms, in a world that doesn't need them to hold it together whilst it crumbles in on them from all directions. What more could she ask for?
None of this begs saying, though; if it's not obvious from how she shines like light in Clive's arms, then it's too dark for the mood, and for now, she just wants to be happy for a while.]
And you?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-22 01:17 am (UTC)[There had been moments of calm and quiet, moments of joy, moments of happiness, but none of those could quite make up for his mother's disdain or the state of the world, fraught as it was with war and blight, slowly crumbling apart under their feet as an ancient god's machinations brought ruin to nations.
But here? Here he can be at peace, well and truly. ]
It feels like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I can finally be at my ease, even if I were to work the land from dawn 'til dusk. [ Wrapping his arms around Jill, he nuzzles her and kisses her again. ] It's a beautiful dream, but it's only this beautiful because you're in it. Thank you for sharing this with me, and for agreeing to be my wife.
[ But there's something else on his mind, and he thinks now would be the perfect time to pose the question he's been considering since he asked for her hand. ]
Were we still in Rosaria--were Rosaria still as it was all those years ago--you would soon be Lady Rosfield. But... we are no longer in Rosaria, and we are not bound to its customs. I am a Rosfield by birth, but I do not expect you to take that name when you bind your life to mine. The choice, then, I leave to you: take my name if you wish, or keep your own. You have accepted me, and I want only for your happiness.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-22 02:28 pm (UTC)The way they're snuggled together now makes it easier for her to reach for him, and so she does, running the backs of her fingers along his jaw, then beneath his chin as she shifts to her fingertips to rest her hand at the side of his neck. Her thumb finds the place where his scar disappears behind his scruff, and she strokes it softly a few times before speaking.]
Thank you for asking me. To marry you, I mean, but also what I want.
[She has, of course, given it some thought already. In many ways, she stands at a crossroads, both here and back home, and she knows that part of finding herself down whichever paths she chooses will start with her establishing the frameworks of an identity. And that begins with a name.
There's a slight pause before she speaks, if only so she can decide on where to begin. It's not as easy as yes, and it's important to her that Clive understands where she's coming from.]
For a while after I arrived at Rosalith, when I'd dream of better, it would be of the North. I'd convinced myself that all my father had to do was see to a few more years of peace, and then Lord Elwin would consider the terms of their treaty fulfilled and send me home.
[The dream of a little girl who didn't know any better. Anabella and the governesses had made quick enough work of that, though, in all the ways they made it clear that they intended to snuff as much of the North out of her as they could manage. They'd never let her forget that she wasn't a Rosarian, yet they'd pushed to turn her into one all the same.]
By the time I realised that would never happen, I'd already found a new better. You, Clive. I'd practise my official signature in the margins of books I knew no one else would read, and it was always Lady Jill Rosfield. It may be your name by birth, but you and Joshua made it mine as well through love. Taking it now is my happiness.
[It's not the whole of her story, though, and so she continues.]
But I want to honour my past, too. If we're ever so fortunate as to have children of our own, I'd like to name the first after my father if it's a boy, and Silver Mae for the Silvermane should we have a girl. There are other Warricks left to carry on our name, but I was my father's only child. It's only through me that his legacy will endure.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-28 03:01 pm (UTC)Fortunately for him (and everyone else) he is nothing like his mother. He would never make her feel like an outcast on the margins of their family. He cares about what she wants more than he can rightly express, and the fact that she wants to be Jill Rosfield fills his chest with warmth like a Phoenix flame. To give her what she asks in exchange is easy, granted in a heartbeat without question, and really would have been even if she'd chosen to keep the Warrick name.
Now, if he recalls correctly, her father's name was... ]
Randolph and Silver Mae Rosfield. Both fine names indeed. They will be fortunate to have you for a mother--to know without a moment's doubt that they are cherished.
[ He doesn't know if it's even possible for them to have children in this world of dreams, and in truth, the prospect of parenthood is one he faces with a bit of trepidation. Clive still admires his father, but when he actually stops to think about what he would do differently, he can admit to himself that the man should have done more--done something, anything--to stand between his wife and his children. Clive might still never have known what a mother's love feels like, but to have been spared her obvious loathing...
No. There's no point in dwelling on it. They'll do better, he and Jill. ]
What other names shall we pick for our future children, hm? Perhaps... Hanna, for a second daughter?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-04-28 05:39 pm (UTC)Maybe they can't have children here. Maybe they never will. The thought that they might is nice all the same, and she carries it forwards without getting bogged down in all the buts that would arise if she'd let them.]
And you for a father. I can see the effects of your love on Joshua even now, and I know that our children will be blessed in much the same way.
[Little Randolph and Sliver Mae Rosfield both. The names sound even better in Clive's voice than they did in her mind. And when he offers up Hanna as an option, she's all too happy to follow suit.]
If there's a Hanna, then there ought to be a Rodney, too.
[A moment's pause follows as Jill considers other names. Her own thoughts travel to Elwin – to how, for all his shortcomings, he still gave her a better life than most in his position would have. And even if she'd never really seen him as a father, she can acknowledge all the same that he'd treated her as his daughter. There are some things about him she'll never be able to accept, but nothing that leads her to believe that he doesn't deserve the same treatment as her father, should Clive desire to grant it to him.
So, her next question isn't a concession. It's no trade of one namesake for another. It's asked in earnest, in a tone that's soft and warm with a melancholic lilt.]
Would you like to honour your father as well? I wouldn't mind bringing a second Elwin into the world, or maybe an Eli or a Winnie.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-05-03 03:04 pm (UTC)[ The thought of Rodney Murdoch is still a painful one for Clive—the fact that it was he himself that was responsible for the death of someone he respected so much, and the pain and fear that Lord Murdoch must have experienced in his last moments as Ifrit’s flames consumed him. Ever since he’d come to terms with the fact that he was that second Dominant of Fire that he’d hunted for so long, the weight of that death and many others has sat heavily upon his shoulders.
He doesn’t show it on his face, though, beyond a moment of pensive silence and a nod. ]
Rodney Rosfield. It would be fitting.
[ Her next question is one that gives him pause. Ironic that Joshua had asked him a similar question not too long ago. Did he want to honor his father? Of course he does, but he tempers his response. ]
If we have that many children, then perhaps. I don’t want you to feel that you must simply because you wouldn’t mind it. And… there are so many feelings already attached to that name—I would not wish for a child of ours to feel beholden to the past because of the regard I hold for my father.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-05-03 05:28 pm (UTC)It's difficult for her to relate to his feelings regarding Rodney. She can't begin to see it as his responsibility, since she knows, at the very least, that he wasn't in control. What that means, however, is lost to her; Shiva's never done the same in her body, always yielding to Jill's command. Except the first time, but Jill was in fetters before she could prime, then, and she remembers little of the rest.
Instead of dwelling on that part of her past, she focuses in on what Clive says about his father. On how he doesn't want her to she feel that she must. She squeezes his hands and relaxes a bit more against him with a soft exhale.]
So much of what I've done in life has been because I'd convinced myself that it must be done. I've thought a lot over the last five years about how different everything might have been if only I'd stood my ground, or... I don't know. What I mean to say is you freed me from that, and I won't disrespect all you've done by doing things for you because I feel I must.
[It's not just for his sake, though. The moment she starts looking at Clive and finding ways to obligate herself to him is the moment she's lost herself again.]
If honouring his name doesn't suit you, we'll find some other way for him to live on through us, because it's important to me that you and our children have that.